This is not my typical content but the whole purpose of my blog is to show that you can live a military lifestyle AND still be sustainable, eco-cautious, plastic free and low waste…so this post gives a little insight to just how it is having the military in your life and for other military spouses, hopefully a little comedic relief. By NO means is this going to be a military spouse blog because lord knows there are sooooooo many out there, just one post.
My situation is kind of different…we are a same-sex couple. Someone please tell me where I can find a group for that?! To my fellow same-sex couples with one of you being in the military…I feel you…I see you…My heart goes out to you…Everywhere I go, “Oh, it must be so hard to have your husband gone all the time…” Well let’s see, thank you for your concern but I do not have a husband. Sound familiar? People are learning so I will give them credit because they are more sensitive to MODERN military families. Yay!
Embrace the suck.
Many of us have heard this right?? But how do we even embrace the suck…well let me tell you, I HAVE NO CLUE. What I can tell you is literally nothing ever goes as planned. You will get told “I will be home on this day” HA best advice, just say ok honey. The only thing that never changes….is that things always change. Laugh when you can and cry when you need to. It helps. I have developed a sense of humor now knowing that I will never know anything until the day before it happens. And that is ok!
I kid you not, everything will be going great while your service member is home. Car works fine, roof is in great shape, the sun is out, your body is perfectly healthy…BUT the second they leave…everything happens, the roof leaks, you catch a cold, you forget how to cook, your hands turn to butter fingers….I don’t know how to explain but it is real. When my partner first left, we had a massive storm and I woke up to kitchen floor soaking wet from the roof leaking. I cried like a baby because I had no idea how to handle anything and now…now I am prepared…I am telling you there is nothing duct tape and cbd oil can’t fix.
This is by far the hardest thing of being home. It is scary when they leave and you have no communication with them. Thoughts start to run wild. Anxiety sets in and skews all your rational thoughts. Your mind starts to fear the worse. What people always tell me “no news is good news” why yes that is true, but it is hard to believe. During this time of no communication, take a deep breath and try to keep yourself busy. It is not healthy to constantly refresh your email every 5 minutes, been down this road. As much as you are wanting to hear from your person, just know they are wanting to reach out to you just as much if not more.
I am nowhere near seasoned in this life…however this year prepared me for all outcomes, at least I think. Many people tell you to get a hobby, go out with friends, go on a vacation when your service member leaves. All these things are amazing, when you can do them. It is ok, if all you can do for the first week is cry, binge watch netflix, buy hulu live (it’s amazing by the way), and eat a tub of ice cream to yourself. In my opinion that is super healthy and a great way to let your feelings out. After this, gather what’s left of you, reach out to your friends, do projects around your house, color, dance, read, explore! I used to think there was literally nothing for me to do but mope around when my partner was gone, so I understand if that is all you can do right now.
I do promise you though…IT GETS BETTER. There is nothing like getting that first email since they have been gone, that first call on the phone, the first time you see their face over facetime or skype…but the best moments of all is seeing them come home! No matter how long they are gone for…all of this is an amazing feeling. One that I cannot even describe.
So, embrace the suck. Because it will suck. But those moments when you see them….it makes it all worth it. Much love-SJ